"The perfect normal person is rare in our civilization."~Karen Horney

I always told myself I would not be that negative teacher. I would not let all the bullshit get in the way of the fact that I was there for the kids. Truth is, not even a year and a half into the profession and I am burnt out. I am not happy, I am not fullfilled, I am nothing I thought I would be. I want to teach but I feel I cannot be the teacher I sold myself as in my current situation. No one cars about my classroom, what I teach, what I am doing. No one cares about the amount of time I put in, or that I am stressed, that I need help. Everyone is concerened with their own things, their own stress, their own pressure and a school filled with people looking out for themselves is destined to fail. I hate being a special area teacher in my current school. No one thinks I am a real teacher- so why should I even try anymore. There is this expectation that I am a beaken of technology for my school- but no one wants to collaborate, no one wants to learn, no one wants to help. The kids have given up too. The refuse to try, they claim they are stupid, they are not afraid to tell you they just don't care. This is not what I thought teaching would be. I think more kids at school hate me vs. love me and while that shouldn't matter- it tears me up inside. I didn't get one xmas gift last year from a student and it blew. I am tired, I am detatched, and I am 25 and washed up.