"The perfect normal person is rare in our civilization."~Karen Horney

For the first time ever I am actually trying to shop for xmas early this year. OS far my accomplishment is finishing shopping for my niece. I really wish that everyone could be as easy to shop for as a 6 month old is. She won't complain about the clothes I picked out, she won't tell me I purchased the wrong toy, or be upset if the gift I got her closely resmbled a houseware. As much as I love my family and spending the holidays with them- it always turns into this stressful event. Here is why:

1) Regardless of whether you can afford to or not- it is expected that you purchase gifts for everyone (mom, dad, sister, bro in law). My mom is perhaps the largest advocate of this and where I learned all of my horrible/selfish holiday behavior.

2) It is not ok just to get people stuff they need- you have to get them stuff they want. It is known in my family that my mother will be pissed if she recieves houseares or a gift that implies she needs to cook or clean anything. Every year my father refuses to tell us what he really wants- gets clothes- then acts a little butt hurt for the rest of the year. Seriously it is never a win situation.

3) My sister will put about 1/4 the effort and money towards your gift, but expects 110% from you. I am always disapointed by what my sister gets me. It really makes you feel like she has no idea who you are. One year she got my mom free sample perfume and she never remembers that my father hates shirts with pockets on them. Also she will count the number of packages for her under the tree. If her stack is smaller and has a smaller price tag on it she will be pissed off.

4) None of my presents are ever a surprise. My father (the big spender) takes me xmas shopping with him to get stuff for the rest of the family. If he didn't directly purchase my present in front of me, he always spills the beans while shopping. Oh and the last 3 years he has made me wrap all presents, including my own. My mom also makes me shop for me with her and Matt is just horrible with secrets.

I know this all makes it sound like I hate Christmas- but I don't. I think I just have this expectation of how things should be and always feel a bit dissapointed when things sway from that idea. For once I would like to not feel like I have to spend my whole paycheck to give my family the Christmas they want/deserve. And I really wish that at least a few of my presents were a surprise and that for once my sister took the extra time to get me that one great gift...not the necklace she bought for herself but never returned or the pair of count slippers(long story). I guess I wish we bought more into the Christmas spirit vs. the Christmas consumer. I love my family but sometimes I know we have the wrong priorities and unfortunatly I am guilty of this too.